Living life with the fuel light on...

Proverbs 30: 8&9
Remove far from me falsehood and lying;
give me neither poverty nor riches;
feed me with the food that is needful for me,
lest I be full and deny you and say "Who is the Lord?"
or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God.

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 I was recently reading other PW's blogs trying to find some to connect with.. And I came across this verse posted.
 The poverty and riches this verse talks about sums our life up. See, we used to have full time, well paying jobs when God called Chris into ministry... We sold our business, Chris quit his excellent job, sold our house and we moved our 2 kids to the city to become students. Now our months are often longer than our money and we dont get to do all the things we see other families doing. I would love to say I am daily thankful for God's blessings but I am sure I grumble more than I give thanks. I don't like living my life with the fuel light on.
 However our faith has gone from lukewarm (at best) to hot (notice I didn't say red hot). I would also love to say I have a daily red hot faith but it seems belongings and money don't give you that. Nor does the lack. I desire what this verse says but what I desire more is the satisfaction of resting in God's provision. Not worrying about more month than money, what my kids are missing out on, that new outfit at the mall or even what the plan is (this is something I think I will need to let go of as a PW). I like to have a plan. Doesn't have to be huge. Just like a plan.
 I am realizing as we head into this new adventure God has for us that money, plans, desires etc need to be surrendered. For me that may be moment to moment right now.

It's amazing how God will heal those things you think are untouchable in you. This week he answered a 22.5 long prayer for me. Something I didn't think could be healed or maybe something that I didnt even deserve healed. You see I gave a beautiful daughter to another family 22.5 years ago... Now I know everyone says it's a blessed, selfless thing to do.. that it's for the best for everyone involved.. I have to admit it does not feel that way. Or at least it didn't in my case. It lacerated my soul. It lacerated her soul too.
We have reconnected after many hurts and years and now I believe we will never let go again. Neither of us know what this will look like now that she is an adult, but I believe we are both excited to discover our new life together. We both feel whole again.